Losing a Streak

As I wrote earlier this year. I'm using a new system whereby the main goal is to direct tomorrows version of myself to accomplish some specific tasks for the day. I'm trying to push more of daily activity into a planned and intentional state. And trying to hold myself accountable and build trust with myself.

For ~170 tasks over the course of the first month and several days, I was able to succssfully do what I had directed myself to do from the previous night. I consider this a big accomplishment. And unfortunately my streak came to an end. The details of losing out of the goal aren't particularly interesting. But the short story was that my computer was locked into a building I didn't have access. And some of my tasks I had left til the end of the day to do. And 2am turned into 3am with still no access to my computer. And I ended up going to sleep without achieving a couple of my tasks.

So this is a pretty classic case of a new years resolution that experiences a setback. And it's been interesting to observe how I feel about it and to try and do some things differently as a result.

It was very difficult the next couple of days to resume doing the system. I was pretty quick to intellectually realize that it was ok to have a blemish. And that it was important that I get back to it. But losing out on the tasks for that one day, also lead me to fail the next day, because I usually do my planning on my computer and I usually do it when i'm done with my tasks for the day. Both of which were excuses that I didn't even know I was making with myself until the next morning when I woke up and didn't have any tasks for the day.

So I got back to it in earnest the following night when I again started directing my future self. However, it's been hard these first couple of days because you kind of have that nagging voice that it's ok to miss. We've missed before and it wasn't a big deal so if we miss again, it'll just be like that. Which is all true. But very much not helpful for accomplishing things with resolve and working towards a longer goal that isn't directly related to a particular streak.

Inner demons are the enemy of any effort to systematically improve your life. But, I have actually restored order to my system. And I'm back to delivering on my tasks set by myself on the prior day. I've also realized that even though I had a pretty good reason to miss, and that reason wasn't really my fault, but that I was accountable for putting myself in the position to miss. And that I could have found alternative means to accomplishing my tasks. I had written the tasks in ways that allow for a pretty open ended accomplishment path. And I had failed to do the tasks on another computer or on my phone even though it was possible to do that.

So i'm treating this like i've let myself down and that I can do better. I've also had to grapple with the reality that the system isn't the point. The streak isn't the point. I have clear goals and reasons for doing what i'm doing. And all of that still holds. The system is also simple enough that I can think about how I can do better without it being a "systems problem". I think this is good too, and is showing the strength of a system that is so simple.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Winston Churchilll